Monday, November 26, 2012

me me me me!

Some of the personal things I like to discuss with myself ABOUT MYSELF is only  allowed in my personal bedside journal!
Only appropriate right?
Lets talk about forgiveness.
listen first....
then lets chat!

My $3 polyester vintage jacket........
with silk polkadot lining.....How did I get so lucky?
I think my hash tag for this on Instagram was   #iliketolookforuglythings.
Also my new find from OLDNAVY 
 { Uhem*   please give me free clothes}
did I mention polkadots?
HEY these sweaters are polkadotted.
YAY polkadots!
POLKADOTS are the second best thing next to skittles and rainbows.

Christmas jammies are NOW crossed off the list.
and this brown polkadotted sweater followed me home....:)

Im not a fighter........
{don't ask my mother this tho----highschool fights?  YES!}
Thats besides the point. 
Don't mess with my sisters or kids and you won't have a prob bob!
I tend to not let much bother me.
I let little things roll off my back.
I laugh when I shouldn't laugh.
and I cry when I shouldn't cry.
Maybe Im backwards.......but whatever.
Im pretty chill......lets just say that!
Ive got forgivness to work on.
I am only killing myself........slowly, when I hold on to this daily.
When you have been hurt in a way that changes your WHOLE life.....its hard to let it go.
It was a BIG BIG ugly mountain and I will have to learn to let it go.
Ive climbed ugly mountains before......:)
and I have learned things that I wouldn't have learned any other way.
This situation is the same...........even tho im a little broke?
Im better then I was before I had to go through it.
When I worry it only hurts me.
No one else.
 Only Holds me back.
No one else.
But I do know its frustrating for others to see me held back in such a way.
I do have much to give....and talents to shine.....and in time, I will happen.
 I just know it!
The unexpected usually hurts the worst.
But life throws curve balls....all.............the..............time!
I just don't want to carry this Ugly, gross, heavy, nasty, garbage sack any longer!
I'm worth more!
This weeks goals:
I'm only shooting for two !!
#1  Carry my mark around more  { my camera } to capture Jax and Charlee daily!
#2  prayerfully ask for forgiveness to always BE IN MY HEART......that I may be still.
To pray for Abbie and Autumn while they are living with their father at this time.
That me and their father and his wife and continue to have a open relationship.
To pray for become who I once was.
I miss me.
and to LET go of the garbage sack full of weeds.
cuz I AM finished with you!

1 comment:

  1. When you figure out the forgiveness thing, will you let me know how? I hate holding onto so much anger. I was feeling good about where I am in my life and then BAM I am so angry again. I love your blog! Thanks for sharing all you do!