Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Called toooooo serve!!!!!!







Soon to be Elder Green
&
Elder Shoemaker!
.
.
.
Proud AUNT RIGHT HERE!
.
.
Elder greenbean's BLOG is now up and running as his mom
and Treavor prepare for his calling.....:)
.
.
What I love most, is these two are such GOOD COUSINS AND FRIENDS!
To share this experiance together.
.
Elder Shoemaker has already been called to the Honalulu Haiwii Mission.
Leaves for the MTC Jan 16th.
.
.
.
Just shareing my heart today.
They are the brave!

Sunday, October 28, 2012

blah blah blah (*&($@)*

 
 
 

 


 
 {  Sorry for the small pictures,,,,grrrrrrrr   }

 


Today was kinda blah for me.......
Wasn't feelin' it.
Well, the first part was anyways.
.
Till I got home and realized I wanted to share with the whole world how much my jacket costed me.
Left my pricetag on for church today.
Yes,  I bought it at Plato's.
Yes,  It was $14.00
and YES, its the cutest thing I own.
And now everyone knows...............good job Annie!
Seriously.
Pfffft...........
 
 


 
 
OR until I SAW THIS!
Abbie was watching a scary Movie.
Jax was playing XBOX.
Jax didn't want to hear the scary music...........:)
So I walked in and saw him with Charlee's hello Kitty Ear Muffs on.
 
hahahahah!
 



 
OR until I got a Dt. Coke........:)
.
.
.
.
.
Or until I got take take pictures OF my sisters kids.
 
THEY
ARE
BEAUTIFUL!
.
.
.
Ok, I lied-------My day wasn't so bad!
 
 
 
 

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Shine Bright Like Diamond


 
"Find Light in the beautiful sea.
I choose to be happy"
.
.
.
.
Not a huge fun of Rihanna.
But I love this song.  "Diamond"
The third line in this song caught my attention!
.
.
Choose.....
choose choose choose chooooooooose!
What a delicious WORD!
.
.
To BE Yourself in a world that is
constantly trying to make you
something else is the
greatest accomplishment!
---Ralph Waldo Emerson
.
.
.
.
 
Night two without my little ones.
I seriously didn't remember how this feels.
I miss them.
.
.
Nice to feel a moment of QUIET to think and gather my thoughts!
I can do that,,, knowing they are in loving arms while they are away from me.
:)
 


 
I'm going to enjoy this moment.
QUIET
EATING CHEESE
DRINKING WATER. 
{whaaaaat? no Dt Coke?, to be honest I'm lazy and baby its cold outside...}
Listening to some Tunes.
Expressing Nonsense.
.
.
.
.
.
This weekend has been AMAZING!
I love how open my mind is to the smallest things.
Details and little things are so delicate to me right now.
I see them and I feel them and I AM THANKFUL FOR THEM!
.
.
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
It was my mom's birthday and we SURPRISED her with
everyone showing up tonight with food and showering her with KNIVES....
YAY, MY MOM HAS SHARP KNIVES NOW!!!!
NOT 1977 knives.....
Yes that was the year I was born.
ha!
Love ya mom!
.
.
No but really.......My mom is the best mother ever.
My kids are lucky to have this small, temporary time to bond with her.  :)
 
 
 
 
 





Us sisters had fun naming the FOOD!
AREN'T WE CLEVER?
or annoying.........either way.


 
 
 We made a trip down to the Gateway........in the COLD!
I can't make this picture bigger so you can see charlee.....HA!
What a poser.
Her mom isn't a photographer or anything right?
 
 

 
 
I tell ya..................
When you need your bucket filled.
Put yourself in the presence of those who LOVE YOU and see who you REALLY are.
Best MEDICINE!
{  holla sissies, parents, Syracuse friends, Mike, and long lost buddies....you all make life bright... }
.
.
 
Remember this saying.....??????
 

 “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” 
-----Marianne Williamson
.
.
.
THIS part has played a role in my life recently:
"Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you."
.
.
I had this saying in my old home, LARGE on my wall for a few years. I loved it!!
Now it completely makes sense to me.
.
I will never let chains BOUND me again to think I should ever feel small.
My greatest gift I own IS THAT I AM HAPPY!!!!
I will never let anyone take that away from me again and make me shrink.
Ever!
It will kill you little by little if you are restricted,  to be who god MADE YOU to be!   { and wants you to be  }
Satan is the Father of all lies.
.
.
Tonight..............I took a BIG deep breath!
:)
Love it all!
.
.
Goodnight!
 
 Ps.  Those who asked about my chevron SOCKS........were bought at Target. They are KNEE socks.  $2.50.
I should have bought 5 pairs.....:)

Friday, October 26, 2012

A BOOK????

No, Im not writing a book!
I should tho........
bwhahaha!!!
Only laughing cuz I dunno what else to do......:)
.
Humm,  wonder what I would call my book?
.
.
.
 
I came across something wonderful last night before bed!
A book!
FOR YOUR INSTAGRAM PICTURES?
what the.....
5x5 book with 40 pages for 10.99?
Are you kidding?
I will sleep better at night ...  :)
look how cute the details are.......
Hope it makes you seriously as happy as it has me.
.
.
Dear Santa,
I want 9 books please!
.
.
.
.
.
 
sonic is the best company at the dentist office.
 
 
 Look mom at the brains on these teeth......

 
Abbie and I indulging in a little  "Newsies".
 
 
Late night cookies and meeeeeelk,  for me!!!!
 
 

 
Old sweaters cut into leg warmers for Gail and Charlee!




 
Fall Morning.

 
Donut face.

 
Find Charlee!
 

 
Lazy cold day.


 
My box has snow......

 
Charlee watching the flakes fall.......


Thursday, October 25, 2012

No more Apologies!

 
 {  Love snow, love fall, love feet  }
 
 
Why is it we tend to question every move we make at times?
Re-evaluating yourself is normal I guess....
What IS normal?
And who gets to decide whats normal and whats NOT anyways??..............
lol
See my POOR MIND?
.
.
 
Well.........
I came across a few different blogs the last two days and its become a cluster BALL of emotions for me.
I realized God gives us the ability to feel ALL emotions. HECK, he created them!! Not just good ones.
Even the SAD...the hurtful and the painful ones.
The ones where you really feel like your heart might FALL OUT!
.
I realized something after last nights emotional, tender, personal moment I had.
At first it was anger.....to sad.....to tender........to love.
HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
This lady I had read about mentions that in moments of her deepest pain, deepest painful grief results in the best seasoned heart!
Feeling these pains sometimes is for gods GOOD purpose for us!
.
.
Notice a good cry feels good ?
:)
.
.
Well---------I also believe when you are at your moments in life where you are relying on god daily to help you move mountains........he puts people in your path to lighten your load.
This is happening daily for me.
My eyes well up, just the thought...........cuz this is REAL. Things really are happening.
Even tho I don't have anything.
By GOSH------I have everything!
.
.
I came away after reading these few blogs with a THOUGHT!
.
Ready?
NO MORE APOLOGIES!
.
.
I am who I am!
I am lovely, just the way THAT I am!
I am ENOUGH!
and I DESERVE happiness!
.
.
and
so
do
you.
.
.
.
.
This is who I am.
.
.
I AM the mom who gives my kids waffles and sandwiches and maybe even Ramon for dinner some nights. 
I AM the mom who tries to fix things with LOVE.  Not Discipline.
I am NOT the mom who lets my children cry themselves to sleep. If they are scared I want them next to me so they feel safe. Yes, that means kids in my bed!
I AM a procrastinator.
I AM that girl who is a hopeless romantic.
I am NOT that girl who is crazy about schedules, I like them....but its ok to shift and bend when needed.
I AM the girl who forgives easy, in return gets hurt easy.
I am NOT the mom that does everything right
I am NOT the girl to be kept in a corner.
I AM the girl who is free spirited and wants to fly.....................everywhere!
 


Wednesday, October 24, 2012

She sings...............

video
 
 
If this isn't the cutest thing in the WHOLE world, I dunno what is!!
I am in love with Phillip Phillips, and its obvious she is too!
.
.
A late night drive in the car............
.
.
.
.
Yesterday was interesting to say the least!
.
.
I defiantly think people are the "Tools" of the lord!
Its so awesome!
I hope I am in tune enough to know when I need to be used as a tool........:)





 
Routines are coming about!
 
Homework
Jobs
making scary spiders!
 
.
.
Sounds about right!  eh?
.
Things are moving forward and not backwards.................which is all I can ask for!
.
.
.
Last night I had a conversation with a friend of mine.
She could tell I was being hesitant with some decisions I needed to make.
She didn't hold back words and bluntly told me what I needed to do, She made it seem so simple.
Satan is real and smart!
And I deserve good and worthy things in my life!
.
.
.
I can't tell you how IMPORTANT friends are!
The real kind.
and I know you know, what I mean!
.
.
Which takes me to another topic!
TEENS!
.
Whoa is me!!.
Give me strength!!
I can do this!
Stay strong!!
.
.
Especially ones that are able to have that little extra freedom called DATING!
Kill me now!
Abbie watched some movies last night with some friends, The boy comes to the door   {very tall, handsome boy might I add.  He may have earned 3 points having no earrings, no underwear hanging out of his pants and was clean cut.}
He shakes my hand firmly and looked me in the eyes    { another 2 points }
I asked him to have her home by 9:00.
They were 8 minutes late   { subtract 3 points }  :/
But they called and told me why.........{ Oh, OK fine! add 3 points }
.
.
I was a wreck the whole time.
Is it nine yet?  Is it Nine yet?
IS IT NINE YET???
.
ug!
She and I had good conversation about her outing when she got home.  I enjoy when she opens up to me and shares.
and is EXCITED to share!
What a fine line it is with teenage girls.
I love her so very much!
I don't wanna pull her all the time.  :)
.
I have some sessions lined up for this weekend.
I'm so ready to unzip my camera bag!
Abbie and Autumn with a little vintage Gypsy style.
And my sisters Family........Can't wait to click my shutter!
.
.
Hello Fall!
You are beautiful!
 


Monday, October 22, 2012

Baby Steps!

 
Baby steps........
Urrry day!
Baby steps.
.
.
.
Movie nights with My Kids. 
  LOVE!
My father has a nice little set up downstairs with a popcorn machine!
So this is a fun thing we get to do...my kids adore it!
Jackson usually ends up in tears from his tender heart........I. LOVE. HIM!
We watched the 13 miracles and Jax couldn't bare it any longer.
He is a lover and a protector.....of ME and his sisters!
.
and it wasn't baby tears....it was ELEPHANT SOBBING TEARS!
Of heartbreak that these pioneers had to endure such pain.
And Jackson felt it.....he got it!
 
.
.
He is going to make a great father/husband/missionary!
.
.
Last night was  "Dreamer"
He says to Grandpa " Phew, no more sad movies CUZ I CAN'T TAKE ITTTTT!"
LOL!
.
.
Trunk of treat with my sissy!
LOVE HER......she is a strong woman who knows exactly who she is.
With a little side of feisty!
 






 
 
Routine's shall get better this week.............
Im Soooooo glad for that!
Even tho I am a sinner and grabbed a Dt. Coke on Sunday I am still blessed.......
:)
:)
:)
:)
:)
:)
:)
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Makes me Wonder what tomorrow will bring?
WE NEEEEEVER EVER KNOW.,
EVER.
ever ever!
.
.
ever!!!
.
I did cross off a crap load of To Do's today.......
Wrapped my cute green scarf around my neck and was out the door by 7:40 to accomplish great things.
Like:
SCHOOL.......lol
and a DI trip......lol
and 53 phone calls.........
.
.
Charlee gets to prance around here in 3 of her new princess dresses we found.
She is the Boss.
That is something we all KNOW to be true!
.
.
.
.
Something I learned today:
Have a voice to state what you know to be right and true!
Doesn't matter if you WIN or LOSE!
or what you gain or don't gain.
We all have a voice, and it s only right it gets to be HEARD!
My values and opinions are just as valued as George, Fred, sally or Gertrude down the street!
RIGHT?
.
.
Don't let small opportunities pass you by..........
.
.
.Ok-----that's all!
BYE!
 
 
                        Forgive me for the boring post......I can't be cool ALL the time ya know.



Saturday, October 20, 2012

F is for......

FRIENDS!!!!!
Holy freeeekin' Moly-------
Meet My friend Angie.
We have been friends for almost 5 years!
I love her dearly.
I made a surprise visit today on my way down to Syracuse.
The look on her face when she opened the door was PRICELESS, and so was her extra TIGHT hug!
.
.
I love good treasured friends!
 
 

 
Seems as today was the day for friends!
I had some unexpected friends contact me.
I'm one lucky girl to have a little NET of friends around me.  :)
.
.
Today was probably a day I will highlight.
The goodness I felt today.
TODAY.  WAS.  GOOD.
Friends.
Fall Air.
Sonic.
Spending the day with my kids.
and wearing my blue skinnies.
Make the day seem not so BLUE!
 





 

 

I Spent the today with Jax and Charlee's dad.
Ex-husband is such a yucky word, so I will not use it! :)
We went Winter Coat shopping and got some clothes for them.
And had a little lunch.
Watched them play with some new toys.
Charlee had a tea party and Jackson made a cool car out of lego's!
Abbie spent a few hours with some old Syracuse friends!
 
.
I am thankful For the relationship I have with him.
Its real and its all about the kids!
Jax and Charlee are so very LUCKY!
They will never lack from love from either of us!
 
.
.
.
Still trying to get in the groove of things, My days seem so ODD!
Not sure where I fit.
Even tho it feels right.
I feel so MOTIVATED and then just walk in circles.
.
Once we get our little routine back I'm sure I will feel semi normal again.
Funny how I am so delighted in the simplest things.
I don't need or want anything else in my life at this moment,
Photography neeeds to rise up from the grave ...:)
you think?
I miss that positive creative fulfilment and being around people.....such a JOY!!!!
.
.
.
 
I have some crafty shananigains I will be sharing soon of course.
I just wanna get in my jammies and create something wonderful with a SONIC drink by my side.
.
.
.
Bring on the SNOW.
{yes, I just said that}
.
.
.
.
P.s:
Thank you for all the WONDERFUL encouragment on my blog. instagram, Texts and Emails.
I don't feel like I deserve all this YUMMY SUNSHINE from you!
You make so SO HAPPY!


Photobucket
 
Picture found on pinterest that was linked to here...crushculdesac.tumblr.com :)
.
.
.
.
 
 

Friday, October 19, 2012

No pictures just words.

I dunno the last time I have posted on my blog with NO pictures.
Just words!
.
.
.
.
Welcome to my new spankin new blog!
Its like a fresh WHITE piece of paper.
Ready to create a masterpiece of Art.
.
.
 Not really looking at it that way, Altho I should!
I needed a  NEW place to write that wasn't distracting.
Like opening a NEW journal and hearing that first crackle of the bindings........
.
.
 
And,    She Will Fly...........
.
.
 
This all was created in my mind in three days of driving from Texas to Utah.
I had plenty of time to think and ponder and wonder.
{I will explain how this came about}
Packed up my little scion box car with what I could fit, and my children.
I had ONE goal in mind!!  And that was HOME TO FAMILY!
Home to safety and home to comfort and home to a zillion much needed hugs!
It was a quick decision I had to make.
and when I say quick I mean:
IN 4 HOURS!
What I got done just doesn't seem clearly possiable!
I used the strength and courage that was literally sent my way and DID IT!
I look back now, and I can't believe I did it.
I really really can't.
I left everything!  Everything I own.
.
I dunno what to even type.......
There are so many judgeful cruel people so it makes it hard to know what to say.
The truth of the matter is, the MOST IMPORTANT thing are NOT things!
Those things can be replaced.........It was who was in my car with me.
and who I had waiting for me when I arrived!
Keep reading and I will explain!
.
I do know I have 4 loving, amazing, STRONG,  protective sisters that stepped in when I couldn't.
I have two of the most wonderful parents who heard the cries and acted.
Many family fasts, prayers and courage sent our way.
All I know is that GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS.
Especially when you are at his mercy and are on your knees begging literally BEGGING pleading, sobbing and broken and ready/willing to do his will!
I know, HE knew I couldn't do anymore.......and a pathway was given.
.
.
.
As we drove these many many miles.......in rainstorms so bad I couldn't see the car infront of me.
and not knowing where I was going other then my GPS on my phone, My dad was my navigator.
He was MY ROCK each day, as we drove these long miles.
Checking my account and depositing as needed along the way!
Told me what was ahead for gas stations and hotels.
I would report where we were and then a email/text was then reported to my 4 sisters as they were all following along waiting anxiously for our arrivial.
I HAD NO FEAR!
NONE!
And I know for a fact I had many more watching over  us and my little car.
.
Driving, day two:
 
Jax and Charlee were asleep in the back.
Abbie and I liked this time for we get to listen to music  :)
All the sudden a bird flew right toward us annnnnnnd THUD!!!!
It ran right into our windshild......I can't believe it didn't shatter.........
It was so LOUD and so hard!
We both turned to each other and laughed!!!!
Then as I thought about it......, that little bird probually was flying home.
maybe flying home to his or her kids........or  maybe it was a teenage bird and her mom was home waiting for her arrival.  maybe it was a grandpa or grandma bird,,,,,,,?
Or simply gathering twigs, mud or worms to bring back to her nest!
 
.
.
Sounds lame.......maybe.
But It all seemed to make perfect sense.
Most of it anyways!!!!!
 
And...............SHE will fly!
.
 
Yup, that exactly right!
I will!
right to where I am suppose to be.
Right to my daughter Autumn!
To my family!
And I will continue to fly for my children.
and for myself.
.
.
As we got closer to home.......excited to see landmarks along the way.
MOUNTAINS!
oh how good it was to see Mountains!!!!!!
To feel the crisp air as we drove into colorado.
as we crossed over the UTAH border!
When we saw the OGDEN sign........and driving down the morgan canyon loving the red, gold and orange colors.
.
.
Pulling into the driveway and seeing autumn in tears running out of my parents house, I couldn't open my door fast enough.
She cried. I cried.
and the hugging and crying continued for days after.
 
.
.
So here I am.
Broken but new.
Hurt but strong.
Lost but also found.
And I still have questions that I dunno will be answered in this lifetime.
.
.
.
 But here I will be,  and I have everything I need.
My 4 birds.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
My sister sent me this link

She says:
" You have suffered enough and warred with yourself, its time that you won"
 
 

hl=en_US&rel=0">