Friday, October 19, 2012

No pictures just words.

I dunno the last time I have posted on my blog with NO pictures.
Just words!
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Welcome to my new spankin new blog!
Its like a fresh WHITE piece of paper.
Ready to create a masterpiece of Art.
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 Not really looking at it that way, Altho I should!
I needed a  NEW place to write that wasn't distracting.
Like opening a NEW journal and hearing that first crackle of the bindings........
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And,    She Will Fly...........
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This all was created in my mind in three days of driving from Texas to Utah.
I had plenty of time to think and ponder and wonder.
{I will explain how this came about}
Packed up my little scion box car with what I could fit, and my children.
I had ONE goal in mind!!  And that was HOME TO FAMILY!
Home to safety and home to comfort and home to a zillion much needed hugs!
It was a quick decision I had to make.
and when I say quick I mean:
IN 4 HOURS!
What I got done just doesn't seem clearly possiable!
I used the strength and courage that was literally sent my way and DID IT!
I look back now, and I can't believe I did it.
I really really can't.
I left everything!  Everything I own.
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I dunno what to even type.......
There are so many judgeful cruel people so it makes it hard to know what to say.
The truth of the matter is, the MOST IMPORTANT thing are NOT things!
Those things can be replaced.........It was who was in my car with me.
and who I had waiting for me when I arrived!
Keep reading and I will explain!
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I do know I have 4 loving, amazing, STRONG,  protective sisters that stepped in when I couldn't.
I have two of the most wonderful parents who heard the cries and acted.
Many family fasts, prayers and courage sent our way.
All I know is that GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS.
Especially when you are at his mercy and are on your knees begging literally BEGGING pleading, sobbing and broken and ready/willing to do his will!
I know, HE knew I couldn't do anymore.......and a pathway was given.
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As we drove these many many miles.......in rainstorms so bad I couldn't see the car infront of me.
and not knowing where I was going other then my GPS on my phone, My dad was my navigator.
He was MY ROCK each day, as we drove these long miles.
Checking my account and depositing as needed along the way!
Told me what was ahead for gas stations and hotels.
I would report where we were and then a email/text was then reported to my 4 sisters as they were all following along waiting anxiously for our arrivial.
I HAD NO FEAR!
NONE!
And I know for a fact I had many more watching over  us and my little car.
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Driving, day two:
 
Jax and Charlee were asleep in the back.
Abbie and I liked this time for we get to listen to music  :)
All the sudden a bird flew right toward us annnnnnnd THUD!!!!
It ran right into our windshild......I can't believe it didn't shatter.........
It was so LOUD and so hard!
We both turned to each other and laughed!!!!
Then as I thought about it......, that little bird probually was flying home.
maybe flying home to his or her kids........or  maybe it was a teenage bird and her mom was home waiting for her arrival.  maybe it was a grandpa or grandma bird,,,,,,,?
Or simply gathering twigs, mud or worms to bring back to her nest!
 
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Sounds lame.......maybe.
But It all seemed to make perfect sense.
Most of it anyways!!!!!
 
And...............SHE will fly!
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Yup, that exactly right!
I will!
right to where I am suppose to be.
Right to my daughter Autumn!
To my family!
And I will continue to fly for my children.
and for myself.
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As we got closer to home.......excited to see landmarks along the way.
MOUNTAINS!
oh how good it was to see Mountains!!!!!!
To feel the crisp air as we drove into colorado.
as we crossed over the UTAH border!
When we saw the OGDEN sign........and driving down the morgan canyon loving the red, gold and orange colors.
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Pulling into the driveway and seeing autumn in tears running out of my parents house, I couldn't open my door fast enough.
She cried. I cried.
and the hugging and crying continued for days after.
 
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So here I am.
Broken but new.
Hurt but strong.
Lost but also found.
And I still have questions that I dunno will be answered in this lifetime.
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 But here I will be,  and I have everything I need.
My 4 birds.
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My sister sent me this link

She says:
" You have suffered enough and warred with yourself, its time that you won"
 
 

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12 comments:

  1. Oh Annie I have been literally bawling for the last hour since reading this. I called my mom to see if she heard you were ok. Your blog is the only one I follow and I feel like I personally know you and each of your kids- in a non creepy way lol whenever I need comfort in life your words and blog are like home to me and the love you have for your family and share with everyone is so inspiring. It's my comfort food. I wish you the best in life and if you need anything please let me know. I have xtra beds & furniture always laying around. You're such a strong person and I I'm thankful for you! Xox

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  2. One word Annie LOVE it!! I will for sure be following you on this here bloggy!! I love your stories and I am excited for your new adventures. You are such a great lady and I know you are a great Mom just by knowing you :)

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  3. Glad you are your precious cargo are safe home where you belong. Say what you feel and be who you are, this is your blog and those that choose to judge will be judged by the measure that they judge others :) love you!

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  4. Life is so hard at times... But so glad you truly know what matters... Family. Every little things gonna be alright :) dinner date soon!!

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  6. I love a fresh new piece of white paper & your blog! I look forward to seeing what you fill up all these new pages with :)

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  7. {You don't have to publish this} but thanks for keeping me & my blog on your list. I have met some wonderful people thanks to you who have found their way to my blog from yours. Thanks friend :)

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  8. re-writing my comment...

    fresh new white blog, so appropriate, good for you and your little birds, be strong and things will work out in time.
    love and many hugs, brenda

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  9. Yay! You're back! And already, you have brought me to tears with your amazing writing ability! LOVE the title of your fresh new blog, and LOVE the story of how it came about!

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  10. You've always had this uncanny ability to make the best of everything, and with a smile on your beautiful face. You'll indeed fly, but you'll also land with two feet planted firmly on the ground because you're one strong and determined woman! Love you!

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  11. Annie, I read this blog after I saw you on Sunday. First, I am in awe of your courage and strength and willingness to be led by the spirit. Second, I am sorry for what has happened, but I know you will heal and be happy for that is the way the Lord wants it. My favorite quote is "It will all be okay in the end. If its not okay, its not the end." Good luck, sweets and I hope to see you more, now that your gonna be around for more than a week...LOL! Love ya!

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  12. I am just assuming because you havent actually said what has happened, however by your 'hints' I believe we have been in the same shoes. Know you made the right choice. The first step by far is the hardest. Dont listen to ANYTHING from anyone but SUPPORT.

    Life is about loving and learning. Taking chances. Dont look back at any of this with regret. It all happens to teach us something. Out of the bad comes the good. With out going through hell we would never be able to appreciate the happiness or see the silver lining. Believe it or not EVERYTHING has a silver lining, sometimes all the rain clouds just have to pass before you can see it. Lots of loves and hugs.. even though Im a complete stranger to you Ive blogstalked you for a long time lol

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