soul searching.....

Jax had his first day camp with scouts this week!!

I really believe I was the only mom  {No really i was} taking a gazillion pictures and embarrassing him with all my mommy mauling-ness....One more hug?

"Mom, its ok to go"  lol

FINE!  i'll go.........waving out the window and yelling "wear your seat belt"

GAH!

How annoying am I?

He filled my ears with stories all night when he returned....and kept his NEW pocket knife in his pocket.....cuz well?  Its a pocket knife!

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I made his peanut butter sandwiches just as he likes them, cut into squares without crust!

His favorite snackies and applied sunscreen!

I love this weird little 9 year old........

HF knew to give me him, his kind heart and love for his mother.

He loves Unconditional.

And his non-rule breaker demeanor excites me....

Spending some one on one time with the girls.......

Even if its just a few moments, I savor it.

I watch them....

I pray for them...

and I hope ON for them.

A worried Mothers heart NEVER ends...., but how blessed I am to HAVE a heart  that feels what a mother is suppose to feel.

They teach me EVERYDAY......and I write everyday.

and remember....................everyday!

HF has a way of teaching us.....

Especially when we are in the seasons of life where we are NOT listening.....

I have learned patience, and kindness.

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Charlee Ann.............still teaches me this everyday.

Her spunky character and her FIRECRACKER heart.

Its a daily reminder that I am here to teach her............with kindness.  With patience!

With pure Love.

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Even tho I wanna pull her hair and then walk away.

I don't.

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I have and AM doing alot of soul searching today-----

A while ago I made this quote on Instagram and noted it with:

"If I didn't take a deep breath and grab courage by the throat Id never be where I am"

I moved.

And I moved BIG!

Change was needed, therefore I  HAD no other choice then to budge.

I have moved LEAPS and bounds, and now standing with Integrity with a newly found friend.......

My savior didn't let me down.....

I turned my back on him and let him down in the biggest way possible.......when I stepped up to the plate and owned it and MOVED......he lent me his hand.

He lifted me.....

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I'm working on this Afghan...

{crocheting is the new THING ladies....ha!}

I posted this on my "halfway" point.

I have a love for afghans, I feel they leave such a legacy behind.

Sad when they sell for only $3 - 

5 dollars at the DI.

{no, not really sad}  :)

Anyways----I am in love with how its coming along.

So eye-candyish with the stripes.

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Legacy:

I wonder how I will leave mine.

Triumphs I have and still am conquering.

How will my story unfold........

So This morning as I was doing "soul searching"  In the quiet.

YES, quiet.......its never quiet.

Therefor PERFECT timing for prayer and for inspiration.

Dear Pandora, 

Even tho you bug me sometimes....thank you for finding me Kari Jobe and her song "Love came down"

And for allowing the tears to fall"

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Instantly headed to the closet.

Picked out my pink skirt and $3 dollar thrifted polkadotted shirt.

Threw my heals on, lipstick, luckily my hairs curl still held from yesterday....

Walked in the TEMPLE doors and took a deep breath....

because I KNEW----------------I am his...forever his! 

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UGLY CRY!  {tissues please}

Listen.......and thank me later.

Its now tradition to head to Sonic after, on Temple days!
My Dt. Coke fiasco are not daily anymore.......which I like.  Its such a treat when I do treat myself to this heavenly sin.  lol
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Again, I pulled up and another sonic was ON the house, made my day.....Literally.
Because its KIND people that make the world so beautiful.
One sonic at a time.
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So I get home and wanted to blog.........
Wanted to thank my readers for the emails.....
I don't think you realize what they actually do to me when I read them.
The buckets of tears they bring and the thankfulness I feel.
I can't even describe in a good way how I feel.
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My Un obedient "past" makes me feel  I don't deserve such good.
Such love and such encouragement.....
I simply whack myself with a board and tell myself that I am.  :)
ONLY because I have become a tool for my savior to use.........therefore, I feel worthy and capable.
I feel good......
I feel happy!!!
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Believe me it took guts and courage to be where I am.
It wasn't easy.....
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I'm rambling...
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So When I went to find Kari Jobe's song....
I also Found this.......
When she says " it came from her journal, in a season of brokenness"
It hit HOME!
Hope you enjoy it like I did.
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I know he is for me. 
HE patiently waited for me.........
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then he lovingly reminded me who I was.  :)