Peanut.........

 

I remember this day clear as day!

When Charlee was born.

It had been such a hard year prior, trying to get pregnant and then miscarrying.

Then months and months of trying again....and being disappointed time after time.

Yet knowing there was another baby waiting for us.

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During my pregnancy with Charlee not a day went by I was in fear of losing her. All the way up to the day I delivered her.

I had a sister in law who was pregnant the same time I was with the baby I lost, and she carried her son til full term and lost him.

A perfect healthy little body laid still in her arms......

I went through that time with her, having to bury him and watching them in turmoil.

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So with all THAT being said, bringing Miss Charlee into the world was a miracle.

In my eyes it truly was.

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When I delivered her, I remember eagerly WAITING and wanting and urning for that first cry.

 I heard it......loud as ever.

As the nurses took her away from my body to clean her up and wipe her down, I suddenly saw a rush of nurses gather around her.

As well as my sisters and parents who were all in the room with me.

I started to naturally panic..........

"What could it possibly be??" in my mind I thought of a thousand things.

My mind racing!!

First being "Is she breathing ok?"

I heard one the the nurses say something about her ear.

I heard only bits and pieces being my body just pushed out a 7lb 8oz baby and I was emotional and exhausted.

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I could hear them discussing things about my baby.

Deformed

Ear.

No opening.

Not developed.

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I just wanted to SCREAM!

She is fine.....leave her alone!

She is fine!!!

But I didn't, I sat there quiet, in panic!

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One of the nurses brought her over to me so I could instantly nurse her.

She showed me Charlee's ear.........

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As I held this most PERFECT little girl next to me and snuggled & nursed her I just cried.

I didn't care her ear was  "deformed".

I didn't care.

 She was so so so beautiful and she was finally HERE!

Breathing!

And she was ours!

 

 

 

We called it "peanut" for it looks like a little peanut.

We nibbled on it and kissed it.

AND we still do!!

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We didn't worry about it for all these years for The Dr. told us all the surgeries won't begin till she about 4 or 5 years old.

We were worried about her speech, being there is no opening and didn't know if she would be able to hear.

WELL-----she is a mover and a shaker and smart as ever!

It has not slowed her down one bit!

We whisper sweet nothings in her ear and she responds.....:)

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So that tells us she has all her important parts inside!

So wonderful!

We talk to her about it, and tell her ONE day the Dr.'s are going to  make her baby ear into a big girl ear!

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 Well that day is arriving soon......

I didn't think I would feel the emotions I felt hanging up with the Specialist today.

Its finally here....

The process soon begins.

All the many many surgeries.

Shaving her hair.

Her being scared.

Being in pain.

and knowing it won't stop at just one procedure.

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I know the team at Primary Children's will love her and take care of her.

But still.

I don't want to do it.

I don't want her to have to do it.

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Her first visit is next week.  :(

She is ONE lucky girl that have SO many who love her..........

She is a little Spitfire!

 The caboose of our entire family with her little blue eyes and blond locks!

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