Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Peanut.........

 
I remember this day clear as day!
When Charlee was born.
It had been such a hard year prior, trying to get pregnant and then miscarrying.
Then months and months of trying again....and being disappointed time after time.
Yet knowing there was another baby waiting for us.
.
.
During my pregnancy with Charlee not a day went by I was in fear of losing her. All the way up to the day I delivered her.
I had a sister in law who was pregnant the same time I was with the baby I lost, and she carried her son til full term and lost him.
A perfect healthy little body laid still in her arms......
I went through that time with her, having to bury him and watching them in turmoil.
.
.
So with all THAT being said, bringing Miss Charlee into the world was a miracle.
In my eyes it truly was.
.
When I delivered her, I remember eagerly WAITING and wanting and urning for that first cry.
 I heard it......loud as ever.
As the nurses took her away from my body to clean her up and wipe her down, I suddenly saw a rush of nurses gather around her.
As well as my sisters and parents who were all in the room with me.
I started to naturally panic..........
"What could it possibly be??" in my mind I thought of a thousand things.
My mind racing!!
First being "Is she breathing ok?"
I heard one the the nurses say something about her ear.
I heard only bits and pieces being my body just pushed out a 7lb 8oz baby and I was emotional and exhausted.
.
.
I could hear them discussing things about my baby.
Deformed
Ear.
No opening.
Not developed.
.
.
I just wanted to SCREAM!
She is fine.....leave her alone!
She is fine!!!
But I didn't, I sat there quiet, in panic!
.
.
One of the nurses brought her over to me so I could instantly nurse her.
She showed me Charlee's ear.........
.
.
As I held this most PERFECT little girl next to me and snuggled & nursed her I just cried.
I didn't care her ear was  "deformed".
I didn't care.
 She was so so so beautiful and she was finally HERE!
Breathing!
And she was ours!
 
 
 
We called it "peanut" for it looks like a little peanut.
We nibbled on it and kissed it.
AND we still do!!
.
.
.
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We didn't worry about it for all these years for The Dr. told us all the surgeries won't begin till she about 4 or 5 years old.
We were worried about her speech, being there is no opening and didn't know if she would be able to hear.
WELL-----she is a mover and a shaker and smart as ever!
It has not slowed her down one bit!
We whisper sweet nothings in her ear and she responds.....:)
.
So that tells us she has all her important parts inside!
So wonderful!
We talk to her about it, and tell her ONE day the Dr.'s are going to  make her baby ear into a big girl ear!
.
.
.
 Well that day is arriving soon......
I didn't think I would feel the emotions I felt hanging up with the Specialist today.
Its finally here....
The process soon begins.
All the many many surgeries.
Shaving her hair.
Her being scared.
Being in pain.
and knowing it won't stop at just one procedure.
.
.
I know the team at Primary Children's will love her and take care of her.
But still.
I don't want to do it.
I don't want her to have to do it.
.
.
Her first visit is next week.  :(
She is ONE lucky girl that have SO many who love her..........
She is a little Spitfire!
 The caboose of our entire family with her little blue eyes and blond locks!
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5 comments:

  1. I remember what a rough road it was for you to get Charlee here, safe and sound. I think we both miscarried around the same time. So hard! But, the Lord healed our hearts and gave us our babies. All is well. She is strong and will make it through the hills and valleys ahead of her.

    Oh, and I am DYING at your darling stockings!!!!! I LOVE them so much!!!! I made my kids' stockings from Bucilla kits; lots of sequins, felt and fluff. But, I am liking yours sooooo much better right now....

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  2. Tears in my eyes! I remember how excited I was for you and when the time came, it was so hard...but Charlee was the first living baby I held after Bryce. She has a special place in my heart!! I want to be there for you guys through this in whatever it is that you need!!! Love that spunky girl!!

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  3. Tears in my eyes! I remember how excited I was for you and when the time came, it was so hard...but Charlee was the first living baby I held after Bryce. She has a special place in my heart!! I want to be there for you guys through this in whatever it is that you need!!! Love that spunky girl!!

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  4. Wonderful post today Annie. I have to admit it. I will miss little peanut ear, but how wonderful that God has given us the medical miracles to give our sweet little Charlee a new ear. : ) Can't wait to hear about the progress for her.

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  5. So grateful to your Mom and Dad for all they are doing for my parents. Thanks for sharing your life with us. Your family is amazing!

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