Friday, March 8, 2013

Keep Walking...........

Morning walk with my dad...........

I'm trying REEEEEally hard to be focused today and  clear my wandering thoughts.....
I need to write my talk.
I haven't spoke in sacrament  in about 4 years.....
I'm not necessarily scared, more I just want to write a GOOD talk.
My talk is on the Atonement.
When I woke up this morning, before my feet hit the floor these words came to my mind.
I'm am a Mormon! I know it, I love it, I live it!
I haven't always been able to say these words...........and I shamefully admit that.
Right now?  I can  SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOF TOP!
I got up and got Jax ready for school.........
I took him to the bus stop, Its only up a street but I drive him every morning.
I Like doing it.
As we got to the the bus stop, a swarm of friends start saying his name.....they were so EXCITED and pleased to see him.
My heart got super warm.........Jax makes friends easy. He is a very sweet kind boy.
Even to charlee when he really wants to knock her socks off for being so annoying.
He is patient......
I love his heart, and what an example he is to me.
I quickly fit in a sentence before I let him out into the wolf pack!
"You make me proud jax, I am one lucky mother......go be awesome"
Off he went.....
It was a quick reminder of how I want others to react when I walk into a room...
Am I a sucker? Or am I a giver......
I wanna be a giver, to clearly give people a smile and MEAN IT.
To be a friend........
and most of all to give HOPE!
These last 3 and a half years have been HELL!
I was chained.....
Completely CHAINED!
Satan had me right where he wanted me.
Down and low....and forgotten who I was.
Dark, hopeless........unworthy of the saviors love.
OK----I'm just gonna say it like it is,
Married to the man of my dreams.
Divorced and devastated from the world I once had and loved.
Family torn apart.
Only option {I thought} was to move on and find anew.
I did.
Remarried........where the whole thing was a lie.
Everything was taken from me..........everything I own to everything I knew to be true about myself.
This is where it gets good......... {is that possible?}
The only thing I had...ONLY thing......
everything was taken from me.
and a strong attempt to take the gospel away.
When I needed it the most.
I didn't realize in this VERY moment....second even, HOW MUCH GOD LOVES ME!
On my knees, begging for help.....direction.,.....comfort.
And when I was ready....TRULY ready to summit myself to him in ALL things.
It was like the snap of his fingers....and "BOOM"
I had nothing left in my life BUT Christ.
And from that day forward I have NOT looked back......I was so horribly chained.
With the atonement I am FREE.
Life CAN can!
I witnessed a miracle.....
If we are obedient, he blesses us 10 fold.
Its real.
I am living it right now!!!
So to finish the  "Ok, I'm gonna just tell it like it is"
I am completely and UTTERLY in love with my ex husband.
We have a love like duct tape.
It has never made sense.............To be apart.
We have both fought a tough Battle.  :(
In turmoil being apart. And trying so VERY hard to move forward......
"Our plan" wasn't/isn't working.......
GODS plan is...........I'm still not completely sure what will unfold! or how this STORY will end!
But I am having HIGH hopes and faith that if I continue to be obedient in all things, things will work out like they should.
Life is going FULL circle for me.
Things I don't think I would have learned any other way.....
Yup, I just said ALL OF THAAAAAAT!
Out loud!


  1. I am so glad you said ALL of THAAAAAAT.. out loud. I am so happy for you :) I need to have a confession session with you- so you can teach me more of your wisdom. Proud of you Annie! I want to hear you speak- I am sure it will be inspiring! :) maybe you can copy your talk.. and pass it along TO ME! We have so many things in common......... you are just at full cirlce-- and I am still half circle! Life... its a challenge. Thankful for this post! Love ya!

  2. Wow.....that sounds like you have your sacrament talk down. That was amazing to read Annie and I don't think you have to worry about having a good talk on the Atonement.

  3. My first thought was the Atonement is a heavy topic to talk on. But after reading this it is obvious you've got it covered! I'm excited for you and all those good things that are coming your way! I love it when you say things out loud because it feels me with hope and happiness!

  4. ANNIE!!! I love it! I love you & am so thrilled for you!! I would love to hear you write remarkably so I know your talk is gonna be inspiring!! I would love to read it!
    I, like you, am so grateful for the Atonement! It's an amazing thing!!! I love you Annie! I'm happy for your happiness!!!

  5. Love!! So proud of you. Good luck with you talk on Sunday, you'll do fabulous. This post was a little lesson all on it's own. You'll touch so many by what you have to say. Excited to have you as part of The Hive. Talk soon- hugs!

  6. Im so proud of you!! Doesnt it feel good to put it out loud like that! way go to

  7. I'm so proud of you and I LOOOOOVE that you said all of THAAAAAT out loud!!!! I LOVE your sweet spirit and you sure are an inspiration to ME!!!! Good luck with your talk, but I think you already have it written!!! You are an incredible person and I LOVE reading your blog!!! I would sooo LOVE to hear your talk!!! :-)

  8. I think we in our old ward in NO the last time you spoke. You did fabulously then and will do the same tomorrow. Keep going. Keep praying. Tender mercies will come as they always do. ((hugs))

  9. Look at all the things you've learned! And that's what we're here for right? Some of us have to learn the hard way, I'm speaking from experience here, but we all have things to do and testimonies to strengthen. You are so very inspiring! Thank you for sharing from your heart, you give me hope for my daughter who is struggling. I know your talk will be outstanding. Much blessings to you and your cute little family. Mimi

  10. Annie-good for you for being REAL...and telling it like it is! You have lots of people cheering for you. I'm so excited for you and to see where it all goes.:)--Everyone deserves happiness! Go get it! xo!

  11. I love that you just said all of that--out loud! You are such an amazing, strong woman. I look up to you in so many ways! Everything will fall into place, exactly where it should be =)

  12. Annie - i love that you are so courageous and can just be cute and vulnerable and honest. Your journey has been inspiring to witness. I admire your strength and so grateful you are feeling the love and happiness you deserve :)

  13. Love this, inspiring, thank you..

  14. So this is funny. I sometimes stop by your blog to see how you are doing. I was trying to find your number today because I had the strangest dream with you in it last night. You were lost and oh so sad and I kept asking you where you needed to go so I could help you and you were just wandering around. I woke up and I thought OH NO where is ANNIE???? In my dream by the way you have the cutest little hat that you were wearing. And these cute trouser pants. Why do I remember that? I am glad to hear that you aren't "lost". Strange how that dream would come and you would write this post.

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