Keep Walking...........

 

Morning walk with my dad...........

I'm trying REEEEEally hard to be focused today and  clear my wandering thoughts.....

I need to write my talk.

I haven't spoke in sacrament  in about 4 years.....

I'm not necessarily scared, more I just want to write a GOOD talk.

My talk is on the Atonement.

 

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When I woke up this morning, before my feet hit the floor these words came to my mind.

I'm am a Mormon! I know it, I love it, I live it!

I haven't always been able to say these words...........and I shamefully admit that.

Right now?  I can  SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOF TOP!

PROUDLY!

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I got up and got Jax ready for school.........

I took him to the bus stop, Its only up a street but I drive him every morning.

I Like doing it.

As we got to the the bus stop, a swarm of friends start saying his name.....they were so EXCITED and pleased to see him.

My heart got super warm.........Jax makes friends easy. He is a very sweet kind boy.

Even to charlee when he really wants to knock her socks off for being so annoying.

He is patient......

I love his heart, and what an example he is to me.

I quickly fit in a sentence before I let him out into the wolf pack!

"You make me proud jax, I am one lucky mother......go be awesome"

Off he went.....

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It was a quick reminder of how I want others to react when I walk into a room...

Am I a sucker? Or am I a giver......

I wanna be a giver, to clearly give people a smile and MEAN IT.

To be a friend........

and most of all to give HOPE!

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These last 3 and a half years have been HELL!

I was chained.....

Completely CHAINED!

Satan had me right where he wanted me.

Down and low....and forgotten who I was.

Dark, hopeless........unworthy of the saviors love.

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OK----I'm just gonna say it like it is,

Married to the man of my dreams.

Divorced and devastated from the world I once had and loved.

Family torn apart.

Only option {I thought} was to move on and find anew.

I did.

Remarried........where the whole thing was a lie.

Everything was taken from me..........everything I own to everything I knew to be true about myself.

This is where it gets good......... {is that possible?}

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The only thing I had...ONLY thing......

everything was taken from me.

Family.

love.

Possessions

and a strong attempt to take the gospel away.

When I needed it the most.

I didn't realize in this VERY moment....second even, HOW MUCH GOD LOVES ME!

On my knees, begging for help.....direction.,.....comfort.

And when I was ready....TRULY ready to summit myself to him in ALL things.

It was like the snap of his fingers....and "BOOM"

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I had nothing left in my life BUT Christ.

And from that day forward I have NOT looked back......I was so horribly chained.

With the atonement I am FREE.

I have FREEDOM!

Life CAN change......................it can!

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I witnessed a miracle.....

If we are obedient, he blesses us 10 fold.

Its real.

I am living it right now!!!

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So to finish the  "Ok, I'm gonna just tell it like it is"

I am completely and UTTERLY in love with my ex husband.

We have a love like duct tape.

It has never made sense.............To be apart.

We have both fought a tough Battle.  :(

In turmoil being apart. And trying so VERY hard to move forward......

"Our plan" wasn't/isn't working.......

GODS plan is...........I'm still not completely sure what will unfold! or how this STORY will end!

But I am having HIGH hopes and faith that if I continue to be obedient in all things, things will work out like they should.
Life is going FULL circle for me.
Things I don't think I would have learned any other way.....

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Yup, I just said ALL OF THAAAAAAT!

Out loud!

wow....