My book.

 

 

{Autumn J on a snowy day}

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There is truth to this thought!

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I have a great story to tell..., and many things to share!

There have been times Id like to rip out the last three years of my book.

I have been told, even tho alot of BIG things have happened in this time frame, its a SMALL chapter of the story.

And my book will get better as I continue on.......

And in the end it will all come together!

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Some days I have PURE faith that this is true.

Other days, I'm not so sure.

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Today is one.

I wanted to write at 3:00 in the morning....but tried desperately to fall back asleep.

I failed, and did not fall back asleep.

I think I should have got up and jotted down some feelings.

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Some feelings of Anger, hurt, frustration, and understanding.

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I got the JOY of laying in bed after I sent Jax off to school and make cupcakes with Charlee on her DS.

Many thoughts coming and going as I snuggled up next to her.

Should I give up?

Fight?

Crawl in a hole?

Get on my knees?

Scream?

Cry?

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I know I can't have happy, exciting, wonderful days ALL the time.

But why not?

Why can't I?

 

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With me it seems, I have many many good strong days and then Satan tries to stir the pot with me.

He likes to make ripples in my beautiful pond I'm trying to create.

ALWAYS......he always does it.

 

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He is so super annoying!

And the way I react isn't always the best way.

My walls go UP and my armor comes out and my CLAWS are ready for war.

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I want peace.

I love peace.

I wanna marry peace.  lol

Seriously tho,

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There are so MANY things to remember and goals to meet and dt. coke to drink, and toe nails to paint, and thoughts and sayings to read in my mind to myself everyday, and things to create and books to read and heads to kiss and bills to pay and tears to wipe away and sorrys to give and pictures to take and journals to write and music to listen to that heals.

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Isn't this right?

I make friends easily

Sometimes I'm too nice which ends up not always working out for the best.

I'm sure you can relate when you feel backed in a corner sometimes you feel your only option is to push back.

For EVERYTHING that's holy I am trying not to push back.

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I made my Nephew some bowties.

He is 13!

He has some valentines dances coming up and asked for some.

He is one handsome stud!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deep breaths Annie.....

Thanks for the Unexpected vanilla Dt. Coke.

I will sit & cry & sip!