Tuesday, January 29, 2013

My book.

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{Autumn J on a snowy day}
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There is truth to this thought!
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I have a great story to tell..., and many things to share!
There have been times Id like to rip out the last three years of my book.
I have been told, even tho alot of BIG things have happened in this time frame, its a SMALL chapter of the story.
And my book will get better as I continue on.......
And in the end it will all come together!
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Some days I have PURE faith that this is true.
Other days, I'm not so sure.
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Today is one.
I wanted to write at 3:00 in the morning....but tried desperately to fall back asleep.
I failed, and did not fall back asleep.
I think I should have got up and jotted down some feelings.
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Some feelings of Anger, hurt, frustration, and understanding.
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I got the JOY of laying in bed after I sent Jax off to school and make cupcakes with Charlee on her DS.
Many thoughts coming and going as I snuggled up next to her.
Should I give up?
Fight?
Crawl in a hole?
Get on my knees?
Scream?
Cry?
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I know I can't have happy, exciting, wonderful days ALL the time.
But why not?
Why can't I?
 
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With me it seems, I have many many good strong days and then Satan tries to stir the pot with me.
He likes to make ripples in my beautiful pond I'm trying to create.
ALWAYS......he always does it.
 
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He is so super annoying!
And the way I react isn't always the best way.
My walls go UP and my armor comes out and my CLAWS are ready for war.
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I want peace.
I love peace.
I wanna marry peace.  lol
Seriously tho,
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There are so MANY things to remember and goals to meet and dt. coke to drink, and toe nails to paint, and thoughts and sayings to read in my mind to myself everyday, and things to create and books to read and heads to kiss and bills to pay and tears to wipe away and sorrys to give and pictures to take and journals to write and music to listen to that heals.
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Isn't this right?
I make friends easily
Sometimes I'm too nice which ends up not always working out for the best.
I'm sure you can relate when you feel backed in a corner sometimes you feel your only option is to push back.
For EVERYTHING that's holy I am trying not to push back.
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I made my Nephew some bowties.
He is 13!
He has some valentines dances coming up and asked for some.
He is one handsome stud!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Deep breaths Annie.....
Thanks for the Unexpected vanilla Dt. Coke.
I will sit & cry & sip!
 
 

5 comments:

  1. I have decided that those on Earth who satan is pressuring the most, must have been the ones who fought the hardest in heaven......why else would he be trying so hard to get you? If you fought that hard in heaven, and won....you can definetly do it again on earth!

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  2. You will feel better if you just let it out! Blog about it. Talk about it. You will see you're not alone and find some great unexpected support and relief. Sharing your story with the world is a good thing!

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  3. Ugh! Satan is rippling my pond today! Excellent analogy! I think The Lord lets him skip a stone or two so that we focus back on Him. It's seems to be when I have skipped my daily devotions or not take time to pray and spend with God that I need something to get my attention and realign my priorities. It's not always easy but in the end, it will all be so worth it!
    Ps. This is megmgib from Instagram.

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  4. For this post alone, I love you! It's amazing how therapeutic writing can be, isn't it? I hope that annoying Satan leaves you alone today and all your energy goes towards your beautiful family and peace.

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  5. ANNIE! I relate to you.. probably more the you know. Strugglies- satan- etc etc. I need our dinner night to happen. SOOOOoooo. text me 801/458-4689 lets plan a dinner DATE. you can get dressed up- I will look like a dude cause I dont do frills and heels. haha. Honestly I adore you- I love your blog, your talent, and even your ripples... everyone has trials and it SUCKS. Lets share our dreams and fears.. I wanna marry peace too.. seriously how nice would that be! Love ya Annie girl!!

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