Monday, September 9, 2013

YOU are enough................

 
 
 
WOMANS retreat is over!
Probably ONE of the most amazing things I have ever done.
Speaking in a room full of complete strangers.
I don't think i have ever met such inviting, warm and loving ladies.
Talking about such personal, intimate things was such a scary thing........but to have them all crying with me the whole way through was UHHH-MAYYY-ZING!
As My dad would say------- "crying ladies equals success"
So I think it was a success!
lol
 
Preparing my talk for over a month, praying daily that I would touch them, that I would "Feel" and learn along the way.
There was somethings I didn't wanna be reminded of, i didn't want to type them on my paper.
It caused pain to remember things that happened in TEXAS and things that happened before Mike and I divorced.
But what HEALING this is caused.
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Here is a picture right of the deck of the Bear Lake cabin.
Breathtaking right?
 
 
 
Perfect place for a woman's retreat!
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The ladies had ALOT of questions about the story with Mike and what a true love story it really is.
Along with anger towards "Texas" {we don't speak of him by name} :/
And questions!
and how GOD truly had a hand in this...........
MAKES MY HEART BURST!
and I refuse to not talk about it....I will share and SHINE!
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Here is a few things from my talk I will share:
{I have had many woman ask for me to share my whole talk on my blog........Im still thinking about it. Its hard to be Raw and exposed.....xoxo}
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"God loves me and waited for me patiently to NEED him------ he gave me an amazingly hard opportunity to learn and feel how powerful not only he is but how powerful I am!
He trusted me knowing I would pull through, succeed and SHARE!
I am no longer afraid of who I am….
I will shine, because he made me this way!"
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5 weeks alone in texas------
"After the phone call from my family, I hung up the phone.
GOT on my knees in my bed, so weak from dispare,my hands holding my head in my hands
…..and begged, pleaded and SOBBED for his direction and HELP!!
I needed him!
I needed a HUGE amount of strength!
I told him just TELL ME what to do and I will do it.
I was at his mercy.
So broken and so scared.
And SOOOO overwhelmed.
after many phone calls and texts in the next 4 hours I
FELT GREAT POWER!
I felt I could move mountains……I felt Unstoppable."

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"I felt unworthy of gods love?
I didn’t know who I truly was.
A sense of belonging.
And most of all I was afraid of my own power and light.
I felt I had it, but I was afraid to OWN IT….LIVE IT…..BE IT!
BE HOW GOD SAW ME.
It seemed so big for me to grasp"
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"WE CANNOT lie from god…
I tried for FAR to long!!
I had gone too far.
My courage was no more.
My Shine was dull.
My armor was lost
Satan surrounded me."
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"I was his number one, my initials were even on his golf balls.
A.W.
Our marriage was magical and real.
He stepped aside and let me go….
He loved me from a distance and watched me learn."
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“we shouldn’t shrink or hide, WE SHOULD SHINE!”
“I WILL not shrink or devalue myself to satisfy others”
“I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth I will apply ALL my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy.”
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I hope you find courage in my words.......
Cuz every day, it takes COURAGE to shine......it really does!  :)
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So this week is a CRAY CRAY week!
I am running a half marathon Sat with my sister, her husband and their son.
I have a wedding Friday----and the HIVE boutique is THURSDAY- SATURDAY!
 My TENTS will be up there!!!
I will be doing a post on that in a sec.....
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We are running BOSTON STRONG this Saturday!
for my brother in law-----who will be running the same race as us that morning only the FULL.
If you remember he crossed the Boston marathon's finish line 9 minutes BEFORE the first bomb....you can only imagine the things he heard, saw and felt that day.
He is amazingly strong.
So we are running for him and those who were physically hurt that DAY!
Here are OUR shirts we had made!!
AH!
 
 
 
 

 Training pictures..........

 

Ran the Logan Canyon with my sister............
 
 
 
This 12 mile run was super AWESOME-SAUSE!
and hard.......and I cried at mile 11.5
My legs were numb and I could see my home from a distance....:)
Pushed through.....
 
 


 
 
 
 
 

5 comments:

  1. Im not gonna lie.. Im totally waiting to hear about Texas lol! half curiosity.. and half I know how healing it is to have it all out there.. its very therapeutic to bear your soul in words for those around you to read.. it leaves you open but a little bit of that anonymity because you get to type it and sit back and wait. You no longer feel like its your 'dirty secret' no longer a black mark in your past that you try to forget. It becomes empowering like yep.. this happened. it sucked but it lead to some of the best best best end results ever! It helps turn it from something very painful into something that can help those around you. Give courage to stand up. By it being in the dark leaves so much more room for it to hurt you. I know it sounds crazy! But when that time comes you'll know what I mean!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Im not gonna lie.. Im totally waiting to hear about Texas lol! half curiosity.. and half I know how healing it is to have it all out there.. its very therapeutic to bear your soul in words for those around you to read.. it leaves you open but a little bit of that anonymity because you get to type it and sit back and wait. You no longer feel like its your 'dirty secret' no longer a black mark in your past that you try to forget. It becomes empowering like yep.. this happened. it sucked but it lead to some of the best best best end results ever! It helps turn it from something very painful into something that can help those around you. Give courage to stand up. By it being in the dark leaves so much more room for it to hurt you. I know it sounds crazy! But when that time comes you'll know what I mean!

    ReplyDelete
  3. and ya know what.. (sorry i posted too fast :) If you need courage here you go..

    http://camoprincesses911.blogspot.com/2011/12/9-months-of-learning.html

    ReplyDelete
  4. So glad you're back writing on your blog!! I LOVE it and LOVE you!!! One of these days I so need and want to meet you!!! I'd love to know about Texas, too, but understand it's HARD to be so RAW!!! You are AMAZING and shine on girl!!! :-)

    ReplyDelete